From Your Best Friend to Your Bridesmaid!

Remember the time when you used to think that marriage is for ‘old people’? Fast forward to today. I am watching my friends getting married and some of them are already married.

It starts with a mild downpour in the early twenties and gradually turns into a flood of marriage stories in your mid-twenties and before you even realize, you are the single one in your ‘famous forever’ gang of friends. You find yourself attending break up parties one day and next you are hosting bridal showers for your best friends. My Facebook Timeline is a witness to all kinds of marriage stories- engagement ones, getting married ones, shortly followed by happily married ones and soon comes the beautiful honeymoon pictures and before long, people you once grew up with, are celebrating their anniversaries(let us skip the having babies part!).

The infamous wedding season has just ended and I have watched some of my friends happily venture into a new phase of their lives and I am waiting to watch the other lot get married in a couple of months. So as it turns out, people become extra curious and super worried about your marital status when they find you unaccompanied at the weddings.

“So you are next.”
“When can we see you in the bridal lehenga?”
“You must be feeling left out.”
“Your best friend just got married, you will have to find a new one!”

beautyplus_20170124144625_save

Out of all the questions, the last two really bother me sometimes. It is one thing to watch people you just know get married and it is a whole lot of different universe where you watch your best friends get married. Oh, and especially if you are watching it without someone to hold hands with!

So when people ask me how does it feel to be 25, single, and watch your friends enter the ‘La La Marriage Land’, I am always, always confused. When did we stop being girls? Is it really going to affect our friendship as they say? Am I ready to get married yet? Hell! Will I ever find someone worth settling for?

I really need to make peace with my two very conflicting sets of emotion of watching my besties get married. Sometimes I do not feel anything has or will ever change between us. Sometimes all I can feel is how different everything is, albeit the same. There are days when I meet them and feel that they are still my crazy other half and there are days when all I can notice is they are someone else’s better half. Some days our coffee rendezvous is as nonsensical as it used to be and the other days it is about a whole different world which I have just seen and heard about but never been to.

It is so difficult to ignore the fact of how we are a part of two different life zones now. Like when my friends were recovering from their honeymoon tan, I was busy recovering from another break-up. Whilst my priorities still remain the same, they have slightly marriage-prone priorities now (which suddenly makes my priority of my space and my happiness appear a bit selfish). I am sometimes considered under qualified for married life advice, but my friends who have seen-it-all and done-it-all, are overqualified for all my single life issues.

multicultural-wedding-mandarin-oriental-vegas-reverie-gallery-32

It is like all my friends somehow got their Masters and I still remained an Undergraduate!

Being single and watching this journey of your friends adds another mystifying angle to it. It makes me bask in the glory of my single-ness when I find them talking about the other side of married life. It makes me sulk in self-loathe when there are plans for a romantic movie date, and everyone comes accompanied with their hubbies and I make the red carpet entry alone.

These are the times when besides the world and my parents musing on my singlehood, I take it seriously for once. Am I ever going to buy double tickets for a movie with my friends or go grocery shopping with someone or no? But then again, these are specific days. These are the days I discern all the renewal around me with all its fierce magnitude and yearn to be loved and pampered (or maybe fall in love again). It takes a lot to be emotionally and mentally aware of the fact that my friends have found a soulmate, and she would never ever have to go through her good and bad times alone. Being single suddenly transforms into being lonely.

Like I said, those were specific days; the other days, nothing feels altered. There is a palpable sense of acceptance with the new identities amongst us. I lend an ear to their marriage, in-laws, grocery and sex stories and these stories never touch my singlehood nerve; they hear me ranting my ordeal and we laugh it out in the end. I feel immensely proud of the fact how high my friends’ husbands have set the bar for anyone to put a ring on my finger.

It surely is one hell of a journey from being partners-in-crime to witnessing them be a part of the illustrious happily married club. It surely does not justify me to get a new best friend or feel left out. If nothing then it at least makes me believe in “finding The One” and “The Forever in Love” fairy tale concepts.

c74d97b01eae257e44aa9d5bade97baf_1426594601

So when someone asks me how does it feel to watch your best friends get married, it essentially comes down to this: how do I feel now when they are still the best people in my life, but I might/might not be?

Well, I don’t know what else to feel but perfect bliss for the most important people in my life to finally settle down. It is an incredibly surreal feeling of having watched them go through all the rough patches of life before finally setting off to wedding land with the most outstanding partner. Being a part of all their ups and downs is exemplary, what else are best friends for!

Sure they are not going to make time for me like before, we are going to have slightly modified agendas for discussion over beer and a little change here and there, but they will always be my set of people- married or not and I know I will always be their people!

It really does not make sense to make even the slightest endeavor to comprehend that we finally metamorphosed from attending marriages together to helping them pick their wedding dresses! Remember Joey and how difficult it was for him to watch Chandler grow over the years, find the perfect girl and then watch helplessly from the same door as they entered all new phases of their lives together? Not that he was happy with all these drastic changes either but the super ecstatic feeling of watching your dear friend settle down with maybe the best possible match is way, way greater than the solitary feeling deep, deep down your heart. We can despise the change all we want, but that is a part of life- moving on.

Advertisements

16 thoughts on “From Your Best Friend to Your Bridesmaid!

  1. Sugam Singh says:

    Loosing a friend has always been a nightmare for all of us..being selfish to have them in our lives is still considered pretty sweet(specially in case of all the ladies). Its soo beautifully written and the words chosen describes it more of an outbreak of all your feelings and emotions ..someday you too will get your Chandler bing ..DAT is for sure ..last but not the least..your friends are really a blessed persons to have you in their life..

    Liked by 1 person

  2. M.J says:

    Don’t worry, everyone has their own set time for getting a match. My people have nearly given up on me, so I’m being asked if I can at least get a baby, it’s so funny! Take your time, love will find you in the most unexpected places from the most unexpected person.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. susieshy45 says:

    Arushi,
    If you are focused on things other than marriage now, then marriage will be delayed until you decide to settle down. If on the other hand, marriage is a priority, and things are not working out for you by your own devices, maybe you need the help of your family to arrange ” someone” for you.
    I can tell you that many of your friends who chose the marriage way, will in a few years time, want to pursue their studies or hobbies or their career and maybe they won’t have the time for it. On the other hand, you, having taken the time to enjoy life to the fullest, will be fully equipped with all these things in your armamentarium and will be at the best time in your life to get married, all mature and completely prepared.
    Susie

    Liked by 1 person

    • ayushi says:

      Susie, I guess I am of the second type, the one waiting for the right time for the right thing to happen and I believe I will be married when the time is right. Till then, you are right, I will just enjoy my life to the fullest, get all my degrees that I always wanted to, and roam around places that are in my bucket list.
      The only sad thing is my friends might be doing it with their spouses, I might/might not be the part of that journey now that they are married! But I guess it is completely okay, that is what Life is about- Change and Moving on. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. sanfranciscoatheart says:

    I am 30 and while all my friends are married or have kids even, I can’t see myself giving anyone that sort of commitment. But then again I live in a bubble of my own. But anyway, I don’t think you need to jump the bandwagon just because someone else is. Hold your own fort. If you are thick friends, marriage doesn’t change anything really.

    Like

  5. ayushi860 says:

    Yes Dear, marriage does not change anything much between thick friends, this is what I have realized till now. I hope it remains the same way!
    Promising forever to someone is actually a big deal, and as happy as I am for my friends when they found their’s, I will always be skeptical of that kind of commitment. Well, maybe when ‘The One’ enters our lives, these doubts would disappear themselves, when the time is right! 🙂

    Like

  6. Janice Wald says:

    Hi,
    I met you on Danny’s networking list.
    Maybe you can check out my blog. My site offers blogging tips. I also have regular blog parties. I actually host 10 blogging events each month.
    In response to what you wrote:
    My husband just proposed to me again. You are the first person I’ve told!
    Janice

    Like

    • ayushi says:

      Thank you Janice for dropping by, I will surely visit your blog and check out the tips and attend the blogging events- they would really help me! 🙂
      A second proposal- what a beautiful idea to keep love young and blooming forever. Cheers! 🙂

      Like

      • Janice Wald says:

        Hi Ayushi,
        Thank you for your reply. I will look forward to your visit to my blog. I would love to have your readership. Thank you for your interest in my articles and my blog parties.
        Janice

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s