Remember those times, when as a child all you wanted to do was be a grown-up and do all the grown-up stuff that we are doing now? Welcome to the reality of it –life is tough, messy and a lot does not make sense.What is important to understand is that your 20s are supposed to be this way – not a happy, dream-come-true, victorious story, but one with a series of struggles, pitfalls, and constant metamorphosis. What we fail to understand is that it is OKAY to feel lost. It is okay if you do not have everything figured out just yet. As they say – life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced!
It was not her fault entirely, neither was it yours. Maybe it was all wired that way, but ruining the idea of ‘us’ that she had is all on you.So she left behind the idea of us. You could keep asking what did you do to ruin it but she won’t be able to answer because it was all the things that you did not do and all the words you never said. She left because each time she convinced you to stay she lost a bit of herself. She left because you never tried to make her stay the ONE time she ran.
When I watch the previous generation, or my parents in that case, happily married and strong over the years, it really makes me wonder if we are the generation that started moving out of the conventional methods of love, by introducing in a more logical and calculative perspective; or are we the generation that gave up on love? We absolutely adore the idea of falling in love, though we do not want to fall in love because we also dread the idea of falling out of love. We take pride in being called the emotionally unavailable one between the two since that defines maturity and emotional strength nowadays. It is no longer falling in love for us, but more of a risk-calculated, well-planned move backed up with motives to jump together in love. We weave this labyrinth of illusion around us that makes us believe that we do not want relationships, but deep, deep down, we know that we want it.
It's the wedding season here in India, and I was busy last week attending a few weddings myself. But of all the love stories that saw the happy ending this year, this one deserves a special mention: this Indian-Dutch wedding!
Resist It took every ounce of strength that I had, To resist myself from staying this time; I had to resist from turning back, It sent chills down my spine Knowing that this might be the last time. I had to resist myself from dwelling on the euphoric days we had, The love that we … Continue reading I had to finally resist the idea of You in My world!
It starts with a mild downpour in the early twenties and gradually turns into a flood of marriage stories in your mid-twenties and before you even realize, you are the single one in your ‘famous forever’ gang of friends. I really need to make peace with my two very conflicting sets of emotion of watching my besties get married. Sometimes I do not feel anything has or will ever change between us. Sometimes all I can feel is how different everything is, albeit the same. It is so difficult to ignore the fact of how we are a part of two different life zones now.
I grew up as a shy kid, an extremely shy one to be true and I was shy for a very long period of my time before I finally eased my way out of it.Sure I have a number of friends now, ranging from just acquaintances to people I would vouch for, I have a pretty good social life, I have traveled far and alone and I have done my share of crazy and outgoing deeds but throw me in a room full of strangers and I might just cringe again. Just the other day I met my best friends’ date for the first time and the minute she left me alone with him and went to the washroom I could hear my inner demons screaming that pretend to look into your phone or admire the painting over the wall so that he might think you are busy. Eventually, after a number of such incidents I came to terms with the fact that I had been, and will always be the shy and the quiet one.
This moment, when you realize that you were buried deep in a pile of mess, with a thousand unanswered questions, is bittersweet. It is a wonderful feeling of acknowledging that you were in a dilemma all the while, but an equally perturbing feeling of knowing that you do not have the answers to all your questions yet.I know that I have to fix myself and move on, but the insecurity of making a decision that could possibly change your life, improve the way things are, is confounding. It sounds easy, fixing yourself, but it takes hell lot of endeavor and audacity to bring about a change.
The onset of something new is always accompanied with a plethora of various emotions; nostalgia from the year gone by, apprehensions of what is in store ahead for us and the dawn of the moment of truth: that the year ahead of us is certainly not going to be picture perfect.
It is incredibly unreal how this feeling obscures your better judgment in mysterious ways, fills you in with all kinds of guilty pleasure and makes you believe how terribly you want something when in reality you can’t have (read afford) any more of it. And it is funny because the more expensive your object of desire is, the more fierce is the yearn to get it.