The diary of a shopaholic

                                                       

Should I go for it, should I not? I sit there staring at the word ‘SALE’ on some really gorgeous dresses and accessories online and I feel as if I have to make the decision of my life right there! I hear dancing bells in my head on the thought of welcoming a new member in my wardrobe and I am already pairing it up with my favorite lip shade and boots, but then I hear some angry mumbling at the back of my head that says E.N.O.U.G.H already! I had just finished shopping from the stores this weekend, the bleak aftermath of which I am still enduring and here I am, ready to splurge my hard earned money (I like to think so) on some more clothes. When has a girl ever said that she has enough clothes or shoes! Well, but I am a lady now and maybe I should handle money more carefully, I think.

Have you ever felt high on shopping: the conscious feeling of knowing that you can do without buying but buying it nevertheless; that contrite feeling of knowing what the right thing to do is but doing the wrong thing anyways because that is more fun; that bittersweet feeling of becoming rich and poor at the same time! The ever-satisfying guilt of buying that skirt that looked just like a match made in heaven for you and adding that new perfume in your beautiful collection of cosmetics is precious. You go ahead and buy that new lip shade, even when your boyfriend insists that he can not differentiate between all the different shades of pinks that you already have!

We shopaholics (as we proudly claim to be) do not need a reason to shop. It is as simple as: you got your salary, let’s shop; got a hike? I know where to spend it; marriage of your bestie? Yay, we go shopping; had a breakup, Oh! you need to reinvent yourself girl. Recently I went on a shopping spree because my friend could not find the right clothes for her and in the process of helping her out, I became the proud owner of a few shoes and many apparels that I absolutely did not need.  Every other trip and festival scream S.H.O.P.P.I.N.G. Shopping has become a kind of celebration to celebrate the fact that you have some money.

My mind is in a turmoil of all kind of emotions right now, as I sit there trying to balance the right from the wrong (Yeah, I am a Libra) , going through the DO’s and DON’Ts of shopping in my mind (I hardly find any DON’Ts, but my credit card bill does) and contemplating the stark consequences of giving in to this extreme urge of pure evil that shopping is. It is incredibly unreal how this feeling obscures your better judgment in mysterious ways, fills you in with all kinds of guilty pleasure and makes you believe how terribly you want something when in reality you can’t have (read afford) any more of it. And it is funny because the more expensive your object of desire is, the more fierce is the yearn to get it.

It has become a kind of a ritual for me to (almost) always surrender to this dangerously addictive, compulsive but ecstatic experience of buying things and then regretting it later on. Why? you ask. Well, I have plenty of reasons. For starters, I got bored after donning it on two occasions, I already discovered a better and lesser expensive version of it or maybe I saw that it doesn’t look as flattering on me as it did two weeks back in the trial room. Not to forget there was that one time when I got myself that gorgeous pair of Steve Madden stilettos, just because those shoes seemed to scream ‘take me home’ at my face. Sure it burnt a hole in my pocket and let’s not talk about my ankles but did I learn from my mistake? I don’t think so.

It is high time that they declare shopping as a forbidden SIN or a punishable offense for mankind; I murmur out loud as I complete ordering my next LBD from that website.

Happy festivals, happy shopping, you guys!